He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
