You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.