I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
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I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.