dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is