Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

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(516): View more from New York

Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

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(917): View more from New York City

Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?

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(480): View more from Arizona

West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

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(909): View more from California

Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught

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(613): View more from Ontario

Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome

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