i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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