Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize