She said her name was "party"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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