Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
