so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
