I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
