She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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