What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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