i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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