I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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