girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
