she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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