There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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