here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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