oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
