Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
