I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
