i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
