Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
