Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
