i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
