I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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