I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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