You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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