So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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