There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
