Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
