i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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