There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
