Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
