You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
