My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
