I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
