Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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