mondays should just be called national damage control day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
