I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He shit in the fireplace
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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