Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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