When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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