I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
