I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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