I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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