So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
