my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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