I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
