Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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