She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
