go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
