My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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