He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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