is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
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I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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