Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just sent this text using only my big toe
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
