that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Two words: blizzard sex
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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