I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
