His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
