Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
