i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
