yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
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i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
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You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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