i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
