gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize