5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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