either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
