11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
