Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
