Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
